Introduction: Remember when we were promised flying cars and hoverboards? Instead, Chicago gets... glorified lunchboxes on wheels. These aren't the droids you're looking for, unless you're looking for something to trip over on your morning commute. The city's sidewalks, already a battlefield of pedestrians, bikes, and dog walkers, now host a new menace: a fleet of delivery robots. And surprise, surprise, residents are absolutely thrilled about it. Not.
Key Specifications (Fact-Checked)
| Feature | Details |
|---|---|
| Operators | Coco, Serve |
| Bot Appearance | Coco: Pink, sporting obnoxious flag poles. Serve: Green and white, two LED eyes. |
| Control Mechanism | Coco: Hybrid (autonomous with human supervision). Serve: Routinely autonomous. |
| Speed | Max 5 mph (near pedestrians), Coco up to 15 mph (off heavy sidewalks). |
| Pilot Program Status | Approved 2022, running until at least May 2026. |
| Public Opposition | Over 800 residents signed "Sidewalks are for People" petition. |
Deep Dive / Analysis
These things are supposedly the future of delivery. What they actually deliver is a fresh dose of urban blight and pedestrian rage. Chicago's sidewalks are already a chaotic mess, and now we've added slow-moving, unyielding obstacles to the mix. These aren't exactly nimble machines; they block paths, stop abruptly, and generally make life harder for anyone trying to navigate on foot, especially those with accessibility needs. One resident even ended up in the hospital, courtesy of a Coco-bot's flagpole. Stitches. For a delivery bot. Pathetic.
The companies, Coco and Serve, tout their bots as 'efficient' and 'sustainable.' Sure, if by efficient you mean 'capable of causing minor injuries' and by sustainable you mean 'sustained public annoyance.' They claim to move at a snail's pace near people, but apparently, 5 mph is still plenty fast enough to take out an eyelid. And let's not forget the impending Chicago winter. These glorified coolers on wheels are going to love navigating snow drifts and black ice. Good luck with that 'autonomy' then.
The public's reaction is exactly what you'd expect: a collective groan, followed by calls for their immediate removal. Over 800 people have signed a petition demanding the city halt this nonsense until some actual data on safety and accessibility is released. Some Chicagoans are even suggesting creative ways to express their displeasure, like leaving dog poop on them. Honestly, it's a perfectly reasonable response to a completely unnecessary intrusion.
Pros & Cons
- Pros:
- Allegedly 'affordable' delivery (because who needs human jobs?).
- 'Contact-free' (because human interaction is so 2019).
- Quiet (until they inevitably break down in a loud, sparking heap).
- Cons:
- Obstruction of already crowded sidewalks.
- Safety hazards, leading to actual injuries.
- Zero accessibility consideration for disabled individuals.
- Potential job displacement for human delivery drivers.
- Unknown performance in Chicago's brutal winter conditions.
- They're just plain annoying.
Final Verdict
Who should care about these glorified toys? Venture capitalists looking for their next tax write-off, apparently. For the rest of us, especially Chicago residents, these delivery robots are a solution to a problem that didn't exist, creating several new ones in the process. If you enjoy navigating an obstacle course every time you step outside, or if you've always dreamed of being taken out by a pink flagpole, then these bots are for you. Otherwise, let's hope the city pulls the plug on this ill-conceived pilot before someone gets seriously hurt or, worse, before we all start leaving our trash on them out of sheer frustration.
📝 Article Summary:
Introduction: Remember when we were promised flying cars and hoverboards? Instead, Chicago gets... glorified lunchboxes on wheels. These aren't the droids you're looking for, unless you're looking for something to trip over on your morning commute. The city's sidewalks, already a battlefield of pede...
Words by Chenit Abdel Baset